HOW To Get Naked With Your Finances – Part 2
In my last blog, I answered the question “why get naked with your finances?”
Today, I’ll give you tips to get started on the slow strip tease of taking off your layers of protection and hiding about money.
- One of the first things I ask couples is to examine is how transparent they’ve been in discussing their personal assets and debts. I’m constantly surprised at how many people don’t actually know whether or not their partners are carrying debt, have savings, or even how much they earn. Take that layer of protection off first. When married, assets, debts and income have implications for both of you. Share the information.
- Make a commitment to have at least one shared spending account. Your mortgage or rent, insurance, utilities, cars, food, entertainment, cell phones, etc. are all shared expenses and can be paid from a shared account. I recommend that you have a “household account” and that you work jointly to set up a budget for those expenses. If you’ve been secretly overspending on shoes, now is the time to come clean. Your budget needs to be honest and realistic. This is also a time to set up at least one savings or investment account for those mutual dreams. Do it together and be sure to discuss who will actually take responsibility for paying those bills and monitoring the accounts.
- Bring your best communication tools to the discussion of trust in managing your finances. People sometimes mistakenly think that money is merely a pragmatic issue. Wrong! That’s like saying sexual relating is merely a biological urge! No, it’s emotional, as well. Depending on your early childhood experiences with money in your family of origin, money will symbolize security and power. Your joint plan must give each of you the sense that you’re saving enough to feel safe and able to spend enough to feel empowered. You will most likely have differences in these areas, so get help if your sharing gets too conflicted or stuck.
I hope that you’re feeling a little more confident about why and how to get naked with your finances. Marriage is about building a life together and finances play a major role in that endeavor. You are not the same two people and so differences will most likely exist. Start with naked truth and move through how to manage the emotions that come up as you navigate creating and maintaining a joint financial plan.
For more ways to explore your financial picture before marriage, sign up here to receive a download of my free Ebook entitled, 8 Essential Topics to Discuss before Saying “I Do”.
What do you need to do next to get naked with your finances?
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