Wondering How to Balance Your Life in the New Year?
The beginning of a new year asks us to take stock of our lives. New Year’s resolutions are intentions to make certain areas of our lives better. We resolve to modify an undesired trait or practice, to fulfill a personal project, or to simply keep up the good work of a healthy habit.
Years ago, I ran across a tool used by therapists and coaches, called The Life Balance Wheel. It is essentially a circle reflecting our core values and purpose in life. Out from this circle, or core, radiate spokes, each representing a specific area of life. The thought is to draw out from the base how satisfied you are with each of the eight areas of life on a scale from 0-10. A zero score indicates that you are not at all fulfilled, while a ten indicates complete satisfaction.
The purpose of The Life Balance Wheel exercise is to make clear that our wheels, the many dimensions of our lives, are balanced. It allows us to take stock to assure that we are not spending too much of our time and energy on one aspect, while neglecting others. When we neglect areas of our lives, the wheel grows out of balance. We all know what happens to an out-of-balance wheel. It simply doesn’t roll very smoothly!
Many clients come to therapy complaining about the quality of their relationships with family, friends, or intimate partners. Upon inspection, we often find that the energy they need to maintain these relationships is leaking out to their jobs, cell phones, addictions, anxiety and depression. The Life Balance Wheel is useful in allowing us to rebalance what seems “off”.
When you draw your wheel, here are the eight life aspects I recommend you to consider:
- Career/Job/Business
- Finances
- Health / Self-Care
- Personal/Spiritual Development
- Friends/Social/Fun
- Romance/Intimacy
- Family (Nuclear or Family of Origin)
- Physical Environment (Home/Work)
Ask yourself these eight questions:
- Which individual category shows the highest level of satisfaction?
This is most likely the place where most of your time, energy and attention are going. If this area is highly satisfying, good job! Now, it’s time to turn your attention to some other less satisfying areas of life. Remember, we’re going for balance overall. - Which individual category shows the lowest level of satisfaction?
This is the place that needs your focus the most in 2020! Look here when making your resolutions for the year. Maybe you’ll need to move, change jobs, take on more responsibility, visit your parents, negotiate a raise, go to the gym, cut out sugar, go out for more happy hours or start meditating. Each category has its own set of standards and goals. Knowing that this area needs a boost will allow you to fine tune your intentions for the new year. - Which category would be easiest to make a tiny improvement, even one notch?
Start with the easiest first step and move from there. Sometimes it can seem overwhelming to take on too much at once. By making one tiny improvement, you’ll gain confidence in your ability to move forward. - Which category would be most difficult for you to make a tiny improvement?
- What stands in the way of moving that level just one notch higher?
Most people give up on their resolutions only four months into the new year. It helps to spend some time really trying to understand what’s in the way of your creating balance.
Sometimes we need to make a change in one area to clear the way for a change we want to make in another. - Which category feels like it is the most important to you?
- What is the relationship between the importance and your satisfaction level? Do the two match? Is there a discrepancy?
I have discovered that the discrepancy between what’s important and how satisfied we are generates a lot of unhappiness. One young man said to me that his love life was pretty dissatisfying at present but that he didn’t care because this is the year to accomplish something big in his career. Okay. His choice. But, if there’s something that actually matters to you, it would be appropriate to put some time and energy into getting it into balance. - Finally, I suggest that you ask yourself this: What is one realistic goal I can achieve today that will move any category satisfaction level up one notch?
Again, remember to set big intentions and smaller goals. The creation of dreams starts with small and easy-to-do steps.
I hope that you find the The Life Balance Wheel a useful tool in setting your intentions for your life in 2020. Remember that a wheel rolls best when all parts are balanced!