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5 Tips to Enjoy Marriage Later in Life

Did you know that the overall divorce rate among couples over the age of 50 has more than doubled in the last two decades? This has left an aging population looking to remarry. Because we are living longer, many Boomers are taking a second chance to find marital bliss.

When falling in love as older adults, we dream of having a mature love, lasting companionship and a continuing sex life. Rarely, do we anticipate the kind of drama that can ensue as we attempt to join our families.

Combining families where adult children are not on board with our new marriage can be especially tough. Additionally, there are often family ties with an extended network spanning decades which also need to be included and negotiated.

Sometimes, these obstacles leave the happy couple wondering if it’s really worth it. 

Even though the kids might be grown and out of the house, there are many established family traditions that can make your new love feel left out. It will be important for both of you to follow some of these simple guidelines as you navigate these tricky waters.

1. Stay sensitive to your partner’s feelings and show some compassion for the inherent challenges of breaking into a new family. It’s not easy to deal with your children’s loyalty to their other parent, or with your sister’s friendship with your ex-wife.
2. Go slow and be patient. Acceptance happens over time and cannot be rushed. Take baby steps and look for and celebrate small breakthroughs.
3. Talk to one another about the disappointment you feel rather than attacking or blaming each other’s family members. Say, “that was a difficult dinner for me” instead of “your son is such a jerk”.
4. Have good boundaries. Limit your time with family to give yourselves time alone to solidify your bond and to establish yourselves as a couple. Eventually, everyone will see how happy you are and will begin to get used to seeing you together at family functions.
5. Forget what you learned by watching The Brady Bunch! Step-family members may never love, or even like, each other. Because everyone is an adult, you should express your expectation for them to be cordial and polite. Lower expectations lead to fewer disappointments.

Marrying in the last half of life can offer a deep, carefree, and well-deserved joy to your life. You have most likely lived the first half of life catering to your family‘s needs and desires.

Now that the kids have their own lives, it’s the perfect time to focus on yourself and your own happiness. With greater wisdom, maturity and focus, you can live many more years of marital bliss.

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